"probably benign"

On Friday, June 16,  I went for my first ever screening mammogram.  I had had a physical the Tuesday before and my doctor felt it was time for me to have a mammogram due to my family history.  My maternal grandmother died of breast cancer at a young age, before I was born.

The mammogram went well.  I had heard that mammograms hurt but I didn’t think it did.  The squeezing was even and over nearly as quickly as it began.  They took two images of each breast and I was done.  The mammography clinic that I went to was lovely and everyone was very nice.  Over all, a good experience as far as medical diagnostics go.

Three days or so after my mammogram my doctor’s office called.  They said that I needed a “call back” mammogram because they had seen density on my right breast that was making it hard to check it completely.  They assured me that this is very normal for younger breasts and that I didn’t need to worry.  OK, so I won’t worry.  I’ll just make an appointment for my “spot compression” mammogram and we can get this all taken care of.  It didn’t go quite that easily though.  When I called to make an appointment for my diagnostic mammogram (as opposed to my first which was a screening mammogram) they said that the doctor would be on vacation for two weeks so they could get me in for a mid July appointment.  At the time of the call I was calm and not worried, I wasn’t sure I could maintain that until mid July.

With some calling and being neurotic we (Buster and I) were able to get my appointment moved up to yesterday.  In the time in the middle I did some net research on “breast density”.  One of the things I read said that breast density is most often “probably benign”.  I couldn’t help but laugh at that, “probably benign”, is that a real diagnosis?  Does that reassure anyone at all?  To be told you are probably benign is like in the Princess Bride when the guy is only mostly dead.  I never should have made fun of the phrase though.

Yesterday I went in for my second mammogram.  I put on the little cape and waited for a few minutes and then the tech came to get me.  She took me into a different room from the last time I was there but brought me up to a very similar machine.  This time they only did films on my right breast and when they squeezed they only squeezed down on half of my breast.  That hurts WAY more.  After 4 shots the tech walked me through the mammography center, past the dressing room, and into a smaller waiting room where I was alone.  She told me that the doctor needed to take a look at my films to make sure they could see everything they needed to see and then they would come and get me so I could have more or get dressed and leave.

I waited for about 15 minutes and then the same tech came back and said we needed to shoot a few more to try and get a better look into the density in my breast.  We went back to the room and she put a sticker with a small metal bead on my breast a couple of inches above my nipple.  Then she proceeded to twist my breast into all kinds of weird contortions and then squish it between the plates.  Let me tell you how much fun that was.  Once again we went back to the little room for me to wait.  Can’t you just picture me sitting in there in my jeans and a little cape.  Trust me when I say that I did not look like a super hero.  As the tech was leaving me there she said, almost in passing, “I’ll let the doctor look at these and figure out if you need that ultrasound.”  That ultrasound, as if I had heard some mention of an ultrasound before.

Another 15 minute wait and the tech came to tell me to follow her to the next room over.  This is now my fifth room in this one small imaging space.  I got the full tour.  So she told me to lay down on the table and she would go get the doctor so we could start the ultrasound.  Ahh, I’m thinking, I guess I am getting “that ultrasound”.  The doctor came in and introduced herself and then we got started.

Warm gel, transducer, harmonics on, and I am seeing three dark spots clumped together on the screen.  I’ve seen ultrasounds before, heck I’ve been pregnant 4 times, how could I avoid it.  These things didn’t look like a fetus though, which I guess is a very good thing since we were looking into my breast.  The doctor told me that they had seen two different things on my mammograms.  They had seen a “nodule” which we were looking at on the screen and she had decided were a collection of cysts.  They had also seen an “area of asymmetrical density” which means that I have density in my right breast that doesn’t appear on the mammogram in my left breast.  She went on to say that it also shows signs of “distortion”, whatever that means.

The ultrasound didn’t tell us much about the density issues so the doctor told me that she felt that the density is “probably benign” (where have we seen that before) but that it didn’t make her uneasy because she couldn’t really tell for sure.  Well if she is uneasy then I am really uneasy, being my breast and all.  She then laid out three options.

1.    Assume it is “probably benign” and return for another mammogram in 6 months to make sure it hasn’t changed.
2.    Make an appointment with a surgeon in order to have her monitor the situation. (many people with a family history of breast cancer already do this just to cover their bases, so to speak)
3.    Do a biopsy so we can have a better idea of what is going on.

I got cleaned up and was sent on my way.  On the way home I called my Mom and she said, “obviously you are going to have the biopsy, right?”  Really, why wouldn’t everyone just go with the most definitive option?  At the same time, when my doctor called an hour after I got home her nurse said, “so we can just follow up with another mammogram in 6 months.”  So who knows.  Is it paranoid to do more than that?  Will I have an ulcer if I don’t know before 6 months from now?  Will it give my mother, my husband, and all of you an ulcer if I pace for the next 6 months?

I called the Breast Surgeons of North Texas this morning and they said they could get me to see a doctor in August.  If I am going to do this I would rather do it sooner, so I called another surgeon’s office.  Now I have an appointment for July 10, a call in to pick up my films, and my right breast hurts.

How’s your day going?

Comments

[chris]

Ohhhhhh, I'm so sorry to hear about your ordeal!! And I'm crossing fingers and toes that it turns out to be benign and no big deal. Also I would totally opt for the biopsy, just to be sure (but that's totally just me).

[Jenn]

Oh Amanda I am so sorry. I myself am no stranger to beast problems. I've had a few ultrasounds on mine as well.

I would say that you do need the biopsy. You will drive yourself crazy of you wait 6 months. I had to wait a week for my ultrasound last time and I was a wreck the whole time!

Doesn't it suck to be a woman sometimes.

[p-la]

Ah, but don't you see, you are a super hereo! A wife, a mother, a friend. You just need to find the super hero within yourself. Find your strength. And know that you have people around you who will have the strength for you when you need it.

[lisa]

(((((HUGS)))))) I'm sending good vibes your way. These types of "possible scares" are not fun at all. You are a strong and wonderful person, a strong woman, a great mother, and a superb friend. Hang in there.

[Amy]

**hugs**
I don't know why the doctors even have the option of "wait and see". I wanna know now or I'll explode! I hope it's just a density and you'll be ok.

[bethanie]

I couldn't wait six months. Keep us updated - and take care!

[Theresa]

Boy oh boy do I have some idea how you feel right now. Between my husband's eye crisis and my own mamograms (I've got some little calcium deposits that fall into the category of "probably nothing") I am completely sympathetic. I hope everything works out for you and that you get good news no matter which options you decide to choose.

[janine]

Just popped over from theresa's blog to wish you all the best.
My mum went through all this a few years ago. She opted for the biopsy - like you she couldn't face the 6 month wait to "see if anything had changed". Thankfully her lump was begnin but you can never be to careful. Hoping your outcome is as positive as ours was.